The calendar has turned from January to February which means it’s time for a new word of the month. Last month I talked about discipline and how I was working on retraining my brain to focus on my words and what I wanted to do with them. I wanted to make it clear to you all, but mostly to myself, that discipline was necessary to be a writer. This month I want to switch direction and talk about what the word believe means to me in my quest to write the best words I can write. Believe. It’s an easy word to write, but oh so hard to put into practice when I’m referring to myself. My hope is I can do it justice for my February word of the month.
There are many definitions of this word. The first one is “accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of.” Another one is to “accept the statement of (someone) as true.” A third is to “have faith especially religious faith.” The fourth, and I believe the truest part of what I want to say, is to “feel sure that (someone) is capable of a particular action.” For me, that action would be writing. If you read my post last week, you know that belief in myself is a very hard thing for me. To me, everyone else seems to accomplish their goals effortlessly while I have to slog and wade through mud to accomplish even the smallest part of what I want to do. I can accept the truth of my faith. I can accept other people’s statements as true, but when I am called to believe in myself as a writer, I struggle.
The struggle is the same when I consider the noun belief as opposed to the verbal form believe. The definitions are similar, but the way belief is defined is not as active as the definition for the word believe. (Yes, I do know that verbs are supposed to show action, but I do have a point for this.) Here is the first definition. Belief is “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.” It can also be defined as “trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.” I don’t understand how or why I can hold strong beliefs in my faith or in other people, but not be able to hold them in myself.
I think it might be because I’m afraid. Afraid of being rejected by my closest family and friends. Afraid of getting slammed against a wall and told that I’m a horrible writer. Told that I would be better if I just gave up any notion that I ever had of publishing my words or my stories.
I believe this is why I need to have the more active form of the word as my word of the month. It will help me to gain strength in my chosen craft and confidence to defeat all the negative things said about my writing. If I can say ‘I believe I’m a writer,’ for twenty-eight days in a row, I will be much further along on the path to believing this is something I can do and do well.
I wish that same belief on all of us who are writers and creators this month.
God bless you all!