I started this post yesterday with a particular title, but then completely blanked on the first words I wanted to say. Has that ever happened to you? Anyway, I decided to start working on it again this morning and see where the words took me. I say all this to tell you that the title might change before I’m done.
So, the Holy Spirit. How much do we really understand when we talk about the Holy Spirit? Oh, we nod at all the correct places when the topic comes up. We hold up our hands in praise of what we think are all the members of the Trinity. But, do we really understand what the Holy Spirit is supposed to do in our lives? I don’t think we do, and I’m including myself in that number.
This came up last week when I felt a prompting to do something. It isn’t my purpose to gain praise for anything I did so I’m going to be intentionally vague about the details. Anyway, I felt this prompting from what could only be the Holy Spirit saying this was something I needed to do. Did I do it right away with no thinking involved? No, I’m ashamed to say I didn’t. I asked myself could I do it. Did I have enough time, enough money? Was I doing it from the right motives? These questions took very little time to answer in my head, but it was time not spent trusting God completely. I finally decided I could do it, but wanted to make sure I stayed anonymous. People helped with that, and by the time I was done, I had received a tremendous blessing.
But, I wondered why I had resisted. Was my trust in God’s provision so little that I didn’t think He could provide for my needs and for the thing he wanted me to do? My trust wavered in this instance. I’ve had promptings like this before and not responded at all so I’ve had some growth in this area. But, still, total trust eludes me, and I don’t like that. I want to have total trust in what the Lord is doing in my life.
I put some more thought into it. Is the reason I don’t listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit because of times when my own needs haven’t been met? There have been times in my life when that hasn’t happened. I’ve suffered, and no one was there. I lost my trust and my faith, and it took awhile before it came back. Or do I have trouble hearing the promptings of the Holy Spirit because I don’t want to give up control? I think that’s big for a lot of us, and we limit the power of the Holy Spirit when we’re unwilling to give up that control.
I’ve been working on this for awhile–regaining my faith and my trust in God and in other people. Sometimes, it’s easier to say I trust in God than in other people, but I know God wants me to have both so I’ve worked on both.
I’ve also worked on being more conscious of the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life which led to last week’s events. Two things are helping with this. The first is a book I’m reading by Sheila Walsh called It’s Okay Not to be Okay. It’s helped me to realize that God doesn’t want us to put shields around our hearts. He is okay with however we come to Him. There is a quote from the book I’m planning to have framed because God used it to speak directly on this topic to me. Here it is.
“We’re not supposed to have enough. We’re supposed to bring what we have, our clearly not enough to Jesus, and ask Him to meet us where we are.” Sheila Walsh, It’s Okay Not to be Okay
The other thing happened yesterday during church. Because my heart is opening and my trust and faith are growing a little more each day, an opening was made for a sermon to touch me. (Yes, that does happen sometimes. Lol, GB) My pastor started a series on the Holy Spirit, and it brought some things into focus for me. We are not enough. We will never be enough like Ms. Walsh says in the quote I shared. We don’t have control. We only think we do, and we buy into the illusion we do. There’s a funny thing about that. I love to read mystery books and find out who did whatever was done, but I think I should know everything about God and the Trinity. I know now it doesn’t work that way.
It’s time for me to embrace the mystery in my relationship with God just like I embrace it in what I read and what I write. It’s time for me to freely trust and freely live in the generosity of God’s Kingdom which includes the Holy Spirit. It’s time for me to trust in what God has given me through the Holy Spirit. I’m looking forward to learning more about the power of the Holy Spirit in the weeks to come.
Have a great day, everyone!