I had been doing so well with my journey to becoming brave that yesterday surprised me. I didn’t think I could be knocked down that far again. But, I was wrong. With this journey though, I have found that getting back up again is crucial even when you don’t want to. That was true for me yesterday and is still true for me today. I didn’t want to get up. All I felt like I could do was languish in the pit. Nothing had changed, and nothing was probably going to change for a long time. I still felt isolated.
This was where making a small decision and taking a small step became important. I could not change the big problem or the isolation that came from it. I could not change the shame I felt because I was struggling mentally and emotionally instead of physically and the feeling that I would be ignored if I shared it. That was where the small step came in. I ended up going to church last night with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to, but I did. Once I got there, I wanted to be brave, sit within the crowd of people, and share my pain. I ended up sitting on the last row though. I couldn’t go any further. My state of mind wouldn’t let me. But, I did do something from the back row. I asked for people to pray for me and said why. Saying why was a big step. I had never been able to do that out loud before. It reminded me of what Galatians 6:7 says in the Message. “What a person plants, he will harvest.” I planted a tiny sprig of bravery in my heart last night. It might not have meant a lot to people. I only ended up speaking to a few people last night who offered encouragement. But, like the author of this morning’s devotion says, “A little yes can be a step in the right direction, even if it isn’t a leap.” (100 Days to Brave, Annie F. Downs)
So, with God’s help, I’m going to keep taking the small steps, the ones that will fuel the flickering candle of bravery in my heart to a steady, constant light. I’m going to keep reading God’s Word, praying, and talking about bravery until God wants me to stop. Praying for all of us to be able to take the small steps!
May God bless you all today!