I’m sitting on my bed and listening to Christian music as I begin writing this post. I’ve taken a few minutes to listen to the words, to really listen, and I’ve realized the conclusion I came to the other day is correct. I have been in the wilderness. God has used the last few months to bring me closer to Him, or He’s tried to anyway. 🙂 I’ve come along for the ride, most days, kicking and screaming, because being brought to my lowest is not one of my favorite things. All of the things I don’t like about myself have come out in full force–pride, jealousy, worthlessness, ugliness. But, God is willing to meet me there, within the ugliness. It doesn’t have to be gone before He comes. And I praise Him for it just like I praise Him when I am walking in His creation.
That seems to be when I’m the bravest–when I’m alone and meeting with God in His creation. Like the author says, “His love makes me brave, and there is no place I love to meet with God more than sitting in His creation. Sitting in nature.” (100 Days to Brave, Annie F. Downs) It bring to mind this Scripture from Psalm 96. Verses 11-12 say, “Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.” I can praise God with abandon when I’m alone with Him, and it brings me so much courage.
But, then I have to be around those pesky beings called people, :-), with the chances to wound, to be cruel, and to not reflect what I want to reflect like Paul says in Romans 7. From Verses 18-19, “For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.” We all can be so cruel to each other even when we don’t want to be.
But when we meet with God though, we’re reminded of what those hard times are supposed to do for us. I’m not sure I would have had the words to verbalize this if I hadn’t read them in my friend’s blog. I’m only going to give you a small sample because I want you to go there and read the whole thing. “That bothersome thing, that circumstance, that person, that difficult time, is your school teacher. When it comes, you’re supposed to recognize it at once and say, ‘By the grace of God, I will pass this test.'” (https://upliftgirl.com/2018/06/15/that-thing-is-your-school-teacher/) Here’s a little more. “I’m going to love. I’m going to trust. I’m going to be patient. I will choose God. I will hold on in faith. I will wait.” (https://upliftgirl.com/2018/06/15/that-thing-is-your-school-teacher/) Ok, that was more than a little, but they were words I needed to hear because I seem to have forgotten them lately. Please go visit her blog anyway. The whole post is just brilliant, and she has a lot of wisdom.
Those words, her words–we all fail at them, me especially. I meet with God; I talk to Him; and then I go back out and do the same cruel things because they have been done to me. Where’s the grace we’re supposed to give each other? I know where it is. It’s in the part of our hearts that says we don’t deserve it. Ok, some of you might not have a problem with unmerited favor and grace, but I know I do, and I’m freely admitting it.
I’m working on it though. Working to root the truth of Ephesians 2:8-9 into my heart. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Because, you see, we don’t just meet with God once, and everything gets settled. No, while we are still here on this earth, we are fighting a battle every day like my friend says in her blog and like it says in Ephesians 6. I’ve not been as well-equipped to fight that battle recently as I should have been, but I know better now. And because I know better, I am starting to feel better.
So, as I end this post, I want to quote Ephesians 6:13 as a goal for myself, and hopefully, a goal for all of us who are believers. “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand.” (emphasis mine)
Praying God’s blessings on you all today!
An addendum or postscript of sorts:
I Met God On Inverness Parkway!
I usually don’t do this, but something important happened between my writing and typing this post. Like the sub-title says, I met God on Inverness Parkway. I was going to run an errand and put gas in my son’s car when I ran out just before getting to the main highway. I said all the not-so-nice things people usually say when I was trying to start the car again and cars were mounting behind me. Then, I realized what was wrong. The gas had completely run out. I made a call and was told that the person would get there as soon as they could. I got out of the car and started directing people around me. I had a big gulp in the middle of my throat because we have all heard the stories about road rage and how people don’t like to be delayed when they’re going somewhere. I was not in a very safe place on the road.
But, then people surprised me, and my faith in humanity was restored. One man stopped and pushed my car onto a side street so it wouldn’t be in the way. Several people stopped and asked if I was okay. More than a dozen by the time my friends with the gas got there. Someone else I know happened to stop by and was willing to help as well. In fact, we were all ready to have a church meeting by the time the gas got there as my pastor and associate pastor were the ones coming to my rescue. I am so grateful that God showed me I wasn’t alone today because sometimes I don’t think I have anyone besides God. Know what I mean? We all think church is the building we go to, but we are all supposed to be the church in the middle of our communities.
So, thank you to all who stopped and asked if I was okay. Thank you to the man who pushed my car out-of-the-way. And thank you especially to my three friends, Garry, Charlie, and Justin, who showed me God in the middle of Inverness Parkway!