Broken Trust

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this summer as I’ve worked on what the next steps of my life are going to be. I’ve learned about being brave and all the facets that involves. I’ve also learned about how we are all inadequate if we don’t have Jesus in our lives. Today, I want to talk about trust and how easily it can be broken.

The first thing I did was a Scripture search on trust. There are many Scriptures that talk about trusting God. One of my favorites is Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Here is another one from Jeremiah 17:7. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” I also like this one from Hebrews 11:1 because even though the word trust is not mentioned, it is implied strongly. “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

When I did this search, I also wanted to see if there were Scriptures saying we needed to trust each other. I didn’t find any of those, but I did find some who said we should trust God over other people. “From Psalm 118:8-9, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.” Psalm 56:11 also resonated with me. “in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?” Finally, from Micah 7:5, “Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.”

So, what do we see when we read all these Bible verses? God wants us to look to Him first, wants us to trust Him first with everything in our lives. I agree with this wholeheartedly. In fact, there are two verses from Psalms that are among my favorites. Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” I also like Psalm 19:14 which is a verse I try to live by though I fail at it often. “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

Now that we’ve established we’re supposed to trust God first and foremost, how do we deal with broken trust, and does it affect how we live in community in our churches? The answer to the second question is easy. Of course, broken trust affects how we live in community. I’m dealing with broken trust issues right now. In fact, I have very few people I completely trust. It’s much easier now to give the pat answer that everything is just fine at church than to try to be honest and wait for the other shoe and judgment to fall upon me. Ever been there? I’m there now, and I don’t feel like I have anyone I can share it with. I know it’s wrong. The love of Christ should be able to overcome the reluctance to trust other people and the pressure to pretend, but right now, it’s not. I even prayed to God to take the pretending part away yesterday, but I still couldn’t talk. When a trust bond has been broken, it’s very hard to get back.

With all of that, how do we answer the first part of my question which is how do we deal with broken trust? Some people choose not to deal with it all. They only go to large group situations where it is easier to pretend and avoid small group situations or people who have betrayed their trust like the plague. That’s where I am right now. Other people leave churches where people have betrayed their trust. My husband and I have done that, more than once. The situation became untenable, and it was something that had to be done. I don’t think my family will do that this time though as I am the one who has the issue of feeling like she has to pretend. And, of course, the final thing you can do is actually talk about the broken trust bonds and see what can be done to solve the issue, if anything at all. If I’m being honest, that’s the other place where I’m stuck, and I think it happens to a lot of us. People don’t know how to handle conflict, expression of emotion, or mental health issues, all of which I’m facing or have faced in the past. Handling physical health issues is easier. In fact, every time my husband has had a physical health issue over the last few years, we have been surrounded in prayer. I wonder why we seem to get that part easier than the rest of it. Is it because there are things you can “do” when someone has a physical health issue? Maybe.

God is working on my heart though, and it’s what I want to end this with. He knows I have a hard time trusting people, and He’s sent Jesus to chase after me. How do I know this? A girlfriend posted a meme about Jesus leaving the 99 to find the 1. We all know that story regarding sheep, but it comforts me today to know that Jesus is chasing after me and wants to bring me back into the fold where I can learn how to trust people with His strength and not my own. Even if they betray my trust again. Why? Because even if we believers live in community imperfectly, God will never leave us or forsake us, and we can always trust Him. Praying we can all do a better job of living in community and trusting each other today!

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