I’m back from the Thanksgiving holidays now and ready to tackle another one of the prompts I found on bibleconnectionnews.com. The subject of the prompt is one we face every day or one we face several of each day, but it wasn’t something I’ve put a lot of thought into, at least on the writing front.
First, the prompt. “You make decisions every day, often without thinking much about it. Cereal or eggs for breakfast? Finish homework or hang with friends? Be grumpy or kind to the family? And some decisions are crossroads which will affect the rest of your life. What major decision do you have to make? Spend some time journaling your options; then pray about it and let God give you his peace.”
Decisions. We don’t think much about them until we have to make a major one. Then, we spend all of our time trying to figure out what direction God wants us to go in. We pray for an epiphany to come from above so we will know for certain we are making the decision God wants us to make. And then, when one doesn’t, we do an eenie, meenie, miney mo, snatch one of the choices from the air, and hope for the best. We would like to know for certain we are making the right decision, but more often than not, we end up trusting our own judgment.
I feel like I need to have the decision about what I’m going to do next all figured out by the time my younger son graduates from high school in May. And it needs to be this big, over-arching decision that will do major things for God’s kingdom.
Coupled with that, I feel like I need to make a big point of not wanting grandchildren right away. When my older son graduated from high school two years ago, one of the women at our church said, in his hearing, that wouldn’t it be nice if he started giving me grandchildren in five years. He had this look of panic on his face like he would get in trouble if he didn’t agree. I shook my head to let him know he was okay with me on that front. I asked the woman if she realized that my son was only 18 and said that maybe ten years would be better. When I got home, I reiterated to both of my sons that they would not get any pressure from me as to when they got married or had children. It’s none of my business about either. I want them to be out of college and working before marriage or children looms on the horizon. Those decisions are theirs and theirs alone.
So, back to my decision. It’s funny that I was diverted by the decisions that my sons will make about their future. We have a tendency to want to put our nose into decisions that belong to other people so we don’t have to focus on our own. In the church, we also celebrate grandchildren to the point that when people don’t have any, they think that something is wrong with them. Families are important. I don’t dispute that. I just feel like that we graduate our kids from high school and then tell them (not necessarily with words) to come back when they are married and have a family. Is it a wonder that our young people are leaving the church in droves? With people taking longer to marry plus divorces and widowhood, there is not a lot of opportunity for people to get involved in the church if they have to wait until they are married.
I also refuse to be relegated to something just because I am a woman. Earlier in my life, the church showed messages to me which said the only things women could do in the church were to teach other women or children. I taught children for a while and really loved it, but don’t feel called to do that anymore. Women are a powerful force in our churches, and, in general, I believe they are under-utilized.
I don’t know if that will change with my generation though. It might take the generations coming after me to make those kind of changes in the church. So, my decision isn’t necessarily one that will make big, overarching changes in God’s kingdom. I think about the relationships I have with children, young people, younger adults, people of my generation, and those who are older. And it comes to me. That’s it! The decision about what I will do when I am an empty-nester comes through my relationships – one relationship at a time, one day at a time – stating what I believe in and how I go about showing it. Challenging the status quo and showing what God really means when He says I am his daughter. Peace comes to me. The peace that is talked about in John 14:27. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Thank you, God, for giving us your peace!
Praying God’s blessings on everyone today!