Last week was a rough one for me. Not only was I physically ill, but when I was at my lowest, someone innocuously opened an old wound from my past. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t and still don’t have any idea. But, for me, it is very raw, and I’m still working through it with God. Because of that wound being opened and another situation that developed at the end of the week, I was very glad to see Saturday come.
You might wonder why I write all of this. In the midst of my prayers for healing and grace, I came across something I wanted to share. It was a phrase I saw online. The phrase is the title of this post–Beauty in the Broken. It resonated with me because we are all broken. There are things that won’t be completely healed until we are with our Lord and Savior. But, God is wanting to work a healing in our hearts now. He wants to be let into the deepest parts of us so He can do His work of healing. That’s where I am now–letting God’s love soothe my soul and ease my pain. For me, this is the easy part, easy being a relative term. I fully trust in my Lord and Savior’s love and what that love can accomplish.
No, the hard thing for me is sharing my pain with the community around me. Don’t get me wrong. I live life with a wonderful community of believers, and we have shared a lot of life together. I consider them to be just as much family as my own husband and children. But, when I feel as broken as I do now, it’s hard to share my brokenness with others. I think that’s something we’re all afraid of. We’re afraid to let down our shields and show our true selves. I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes I’m fearful of sharing with my faith community because I’m afraid I’ll lose them if I show my true self.
Now, you’re probably thinking she’s irrational, right? If she has such a wonderful faith community, why would she be afraid to share with them? Yes, I will admit fear does play a part; a big part, but I think it’s more that I’m still coming to terms with the beauty in my brokenness. Coming to terms with showing it. God means for us to live in community where showing brokenness should be okay. But from what I’ve read and what I know from other people and my own feelings, it’s not. At least it’s not for certain types of brokenness.
Is there a way to sort through all of this? A way to become comfortable with showing brokenness? The first way, of course, is through prayer. Talking to God and asking Him to lead you to a supportive faith community is a good start to defeating the lies of Satan. Second, realize there is beauty in whatever brokenness you have. You are saved by God’s grace, and He will never let go. And finally, do your best to trust the people around you and share your brokenness. That last one is the hardest one for me, and I’m not sure when I’ll get there. But, I know with God’s help, it will happen!
God’s blessings on you today!